Many people wonder how psychological abuse and emotional abuse differ…I believe that people can be emotionally abusive but still have empathy for others. Example? Loved ones who are struggling with additction will harm others while living out their craving…[P]sychological abusers damage others – not out of impaired judgement – but because they enjoy the control they gain from abusing people.”

Abuse must be redefined such that it includes these features too: psychological tactics, idealization, devaluation; grooming with love bombing, gaslighting, manipulation, intimidation and isolation, sexual abuse, financial and legal abuse.”

These scandals have been pervasive as well as persistent, affecting almost all major American Zen Centers. It should be emphasized that the source of the problem lies not in sexual activity per se, but in the teachers’ abuse of authority and the deceptive (and exploitative) nature of these affairs. These affairs were carried on in secret and even publicly denied. The students involved were often lied to by the teachers about the nature of the liaison.”

In every tale of spiritual abuse in this book, staff members, community members, and even other clergy, including popes and the Dalai Lama, knew about the violations – and failed to act for decades to save face. They colluded with spiritual rationales, propped up their teachers, disbelieved or dismissed the accusers, or remained in group-think denial…In my opinion, their silence made them complicit.”

Because here’s a thing you might have forgotten about women being menaced or assaulted or beaten or raped: we think we might be murdered before it’s over. I have. There’s often a second layer of threat ‘if you tell.’ From your assailant or from the people who don’t want to hear about what he did and what you need.”

The use of censorship runs through stories of spiritual abuse. It is powerful because, if people feel unable to speak out, then the whole system and those who control others stay protected…Secrecy and silence are noted as key characteristics of spiritual abuse in much of the writing in this area.”

Although these issues [related to abuses of power] exist in Buddhist history, the early decades of the twenty-first century, along with the rise of the #MeToo movement, have brought more visibility to issues involving abuses of power perpetrated by Buddhist teachers, including sex abuse, other forms of physical abuse, and financial abuse.”

‘Everybody knows, yet no one … has ever publicly spoken out…’ Ann Gleig began her paper with these words, spoken by the Canadian Zen teacher Eshu Martin. And just a few months ago, in September of 2018, His Holiness the Dalai Lama responded to his meeting in Rotterdam with victims of sex abuse perpetrated by Sogyal Lakar by saying, ‘I already knew these things, nothing new.’ These comments resonate because many of us, too, have known about the problem of sex abuse in Buddhist contexts for a long time.”

One of the key insights of the [Heartwood-Northwestern Symposium on Sexual Violence in Buddhism: Centering Survivor’s Voices]  was that sexual abuse is an international problem that affects women and men, as well as children, across Buddhist traditions.”

Abusers retain positions of influence because they are often more aligned with institutional norms than are those who complain.. Abuse is supported by processes that punish those who speak out, shield abusers from repercussions, and allow willing enablers and passive bystanders to thrive.