CARE deepens with the building of accountability and the gathering of allies.
FOR HELP, 24/7: NATIONAL SEXUAL ASSAULT HOTLINE (800-656-HOPE); ONLINE CHAT (ONLINE.RAINN.ORG); VISIT NATIONAL SEXUAL VIOLENCE RESOURCE CENTER (NSVRC)
FOR HELP, 24/7: NATIONAL SEXUAL ASSAULT HOTLINE (800-656-HOPE); ONLINE CHAT (ONLINE.RAINN.ORG); VISIT NATIONAL SEXUAL VIOLENCE RESOURCE CENTER (NSVRC)
Here are some definitions helpful to understanding the nuances of abuse, as well as the shape it takes in religious or spiritual settings.
Incidents of [sexual abuse] occur to almost every novice monk [in Sri Lanka], sometimes with the knowledge of senior monks and sometimes without it. Because it was treated as something normal within that environment, it took me nearly two decades to recognise that what I had experienced was abuse.”
For generations, Buddhist monasteries in Sri Lanka have been seen as places where children could receive religious education, discipline, and spiritual guidance or even a way out for impoverished families who cannot provide for their children…However, incidents of child sexual abuse within monasteries have continued to emerge from time to time, leading to discussions about the safety of children living in religious institutions and the systems in place to oversee their welfare.”
[W]ithin this practice system, to think critically of one’s teacher is to damage one’s mind and to impair one’s progress toward enlightenment, thus risking disaster.”
In the context of [one] survivor’s long relationship with her teacher – which became sexual and which she eventually characterized as abusive and traumatic – the erosion of self also resembled a grooming process in which she was encouraged to distrust her own ethical intuitions and conventional understandings. Olivia recalls reflecting on her teacher’s effort to isolate her from her friends and family, and even from her own past, in explicitly Buddhist terms.”
In 2017, the #MeToo movement exposed sexual and other forms of abuse among Tibetan Buddhist lamas operating in Europe and North America.”
It is patently clear, for example, that the potent combination of religion, sex, power and secrecy have, in the past, had disastrous effects on individuals and groups, and that any system which bases itself on these forces is always susceptible to abuse.”
The concept of grooming is well known in the study of sexual violence. It shows how the physical and psychological boundaries of a potential victim can be gradually infringed upon, softened up, and broken down, right up to and including to the prosecutable moment of assault. It shows that sexual assault is often the endpoint in a creeping betrayal of trust.”
[T]he term ‘sexual violation’ …captures ‘a broad set of events beyond those involving explicit forms of violence,’ and acknowledges ‘structural constraints on consent.’ “
As [Linda Martin Alcoff] explains ‘To violate is to infringe upon someone, to transgress, and it can also mean to rupture or to break. Violations can happen with stealth, with manipulation, with soft words and a gentle touch to a child, or an employee, or anyone who is significantly vulnerable to the offices of others.’ “
While the survivors we were able to interview all identify as female, this is not true of all survivors of abuse in Buddhist contexts…[list of publicized examples of Buddhist abuse targeting cis-men]…This reflects general statistics on sexual violence, which, according to RAINN, impacts women (and girls) at high rates.”
Listen to Max f/k/a Bosui share a little something about accountability from her own experience.
Beyond the basic physical and psychological facts of what happened to me, I struggled around how deeply I felt betrayed, how long my distress and pain was lasting. A full year after I left my center, I heard the term ‘spiritual abuse’, and realized that this is it – this is at the core of the harm perpetrated on me. With this recognition, I’d say my healing truly began.
• a survivor
Unfortunately, abuse in its many forms is a reality that many have encountered in the dharma, which is particularly painful since people come to the dharma seeking refuge.
• Mariana Restrepo
I happened across your site while doing a check in on my former exploitative meditation group, Shambhala International. In my years of recovery I have maintained a public list of links that I’ve felt helpful. I recognize a lot of the links you have kindly present on your site. Thanks.
(the list provided by our mitigating dHARMa community member is being integrated into this site)
• anonymous
Spiritual abuse doesn’t just hurt – it disorients. When integrity becomes a weapon, when teachers who helped you awaken betray you, it impacts who you think you are. Your sense of reality fractures.
• Amma
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• your name or anonymous
Connect with us: your contribution can be shared here!
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