When harm arises at the CENTER of the Dharma, what is “care”?

Learning to practice self-care and self-love has meant deeply listening to the anger and rage that I have suppressed for fear of retaliation for as long as I can remember. It means trusting my gut when it tells me that I am in an unhealthy and emotionally abusive relationship. It means loving myself enough to walk away…”

[V]ictim-survivors may fear that speaking out will be viewed as a betrayal of their culture or spiritual commitments. This fear is closely tied to what I describe as institutional betrayal – a phenomonen in which trusted organizations or communities fail to address abuse, prioritize their reputation over the well0being of victim-survivors, or actively suppress disclosures. By betraying the trust place in them, these institutions heighten victim-survivors’ sense of isolation and the risks of coming forward.”

Hierarchical systems reinforce the voices of those in power and marginalize those at lower levels, creating an environment where victim-survivors feel compelled to remain silent.

For many victim-survivors, this silence is not a choice, but a product of a system shaped by militarized influences…These forces emphasize loyalty, deference to authority, and group harmony, while discouraging open discussion of abuse. As a result, victim-survivors may fear that speaking out will be viewed as a betrayal of their culture or spiritual commitments.”

[P]erpetrators and enabling institutions wear what I call ‘invisible masks.’ These masks conceal the realities of abuse, allowing perpetrators to appear righteous while sidelining victim-survivors.”

Video: Survivor Testimony

 

(see also Open Letter to Plum Village centres: An appeal for better safeguarding measures)

 

Limitless is the woman who dares to name herself.”

The action of telling a story in the ‘safety’ of a protected relationship can produce a change in the abnormal processing of the traumatic memory and relieve many of the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. This shows how vital it is for survivors of guru abuse to be heard without judgement, and believed.”

I’m thinking also about when all of this is manifesting in a collective context, the collective context of Buddhist communities…[W]e think about the grooming behavior taking place between teacher and student, but actually the entire collective can be communicating and functioning together to reinforce…some of these unhealthy dynamics.”

[W]e have to be very careful to articulate that teachers are fallible and human, and really make that a very strong part of our Dharma culture, because otherwise it’s this power dynamic [where the teacher is elevated to Buddha-like status, and the student is  still in the realm of samsara], and the power dynamic is one of the conditions that makes abuse so easy.”

Awareness of ethics is not enough, and being in the present moment is not enough. But what is enough? In [Sati Sangha] we’ve come to the proposition that ‘what is enough’ is to start something…and so we’re starting something, we’re launching Ethical Reflecting for Buddhist meditation teachers, Dharma teachers and mindfulness teachers.”

Sociologist Albert Biderman created the Chart of Coercion, a list of 8 methods used to psychologically “break” someone.

There is always one true inner voice. Trust it.”

Like any expression of the true self, laughter is radical and revolutionary, and it upsets conformity.”

[The] Journal of the American Medical Association published this conclusion…’A humor therapy program can improve the quality of life for patients…laughter has an immediate symptom-relieving effect.’…I say all this to convince you that there is such a thing as a path of laughter.”

That’s really important, that we’re not alone when we start to speak out.”

The complexities of naming [abuse, and one’s self related to it] have been compounded by a grouping together of a  range of offenses and offenders. How then can one language appropriately distinguish between various actors and various actions and various contexts while still acknowledging the shared cultures of secrecy, complicity and gendered hierarchies that have enabled them?”

[M]any efforts to seriously address abuse have come from the  grassroots, not from positions of institutional power or authority. Many of the individuals doing this work draw on their professional training…not primarily on their Buddhist training, though they may also seek to align their efforts with Buddhist principles. Notably, many are themselves survivors.”

The Culture of High Demand Groups

As we mentioned earlier, while we do not use the label “cult,” we see many elements in Vajradhatu [n/k/a Shambhala] that experts find indicative of high demand organizations, including the following that we identified in our investigation:

• Authoritarian, charismatic leader
• Ideology requires total commitment
• Neither critical thinking nor dissent is permitted
• There is no accountability.”

I suggest that leaders and their institutions also focus on teaching moral development, rather than assuming it will emerge with spiritual development.”

Many Buddhists brush this type of information under the rug, and in an effort to protect Buddhism as it moves into the future, they don’t bring up painful corruptions of power. This [Heartwood] conference took the opposite approach by sharing information and experiences in order to raise awareness. It gave me hope that open communication about this challenging topic is possible and that it can contribute to reducing harm.”

Everyone can be better listeners to trauma stories through this single practice: When the trauma story begins, don’t interrupt. Not with questions, contexts, challenges, equivocations, or it-can’t-be-that-badisms…If all you can offer is a fraction of the time and space that was stolen away by the trauma, that’s really something. It will help protect victims against the inevitable blowback enacted by a culture in crisis.”

As leaders, we have a responsibility and a tremendous opportunity to learn, unlearn, and explore. And not on our terms, but in community with others. Caring for and connecting with the people we lead is an irreducible requirement of courageous leaders.”

Project Sangha:

We are a core group of survivors, practitioners, and allies associated with Kagyu Samye Dzong Dublin, Ireland (KSDD)… seeking survivor centered accountability processes & appropriate action in relation to long term allegations of abuse & ethical misconduct in KSDD. We (the above core group) became aware of the history of allegations of abuse & ethical misconduct in KSDD on 19th May 2023.”

The Ethical Reflecting course “consists of three modules designed to support Buddhist teachers and sanghas in responding to and healing from ethical misconduct and abuse; [it operates within the] Foundational Statement: We encourage small steps toward living and teaching a compassionate, ethical dharma and meditation practice; one where each one of us is responsible for navigating our own wounding, injustice, and actions in the world.”

 

Fear keeps you safe. Anger protects you from getting taken advantage of. And Sadness…triggers compassion. It brings people together.”