It’s possible that Buddhist ethics and Buddhist authority structures could support transparency, accountability and the centering survivors…however both our ethnographic and our  textual research has shown us that this hasn’t been the norm historically or in the contemporary Buddhist world. Again and again, Buddhist organizations and the teachers that lead them move to protect themselves, their revenue streams and the reputation of their lineages at the expense of survivors.”

The complexities of naming [abuse, and one’s self related to it] have been compounded by a grouping together of a  range of offenses and offenders. How then can one language appropriately distinguish between various actors and various actions and various contexts while still acknowledging the shared cultures of secrecy, complicity and gendered hierarchies that have enabled them?”

I use the term survivor to describe what some might call a victim. ..For me, those who have been in psychologically abusive relationships are not merely victims. They are people who have learned to overcome an insidious form of abuse. They have come out on the other side of healing…”

Religious or spiritual abuse results in an identity crisis. Victim, survivor, muse, consort – who am I?…Who am I if not his devotee or her acolyte? Who am I if not a special member of a special group? Who am I if I have been abused by the very person with whom I needed to feel safe? Am I a victim? Am I a fool?…Most of all, who am I in relation to my god or the gods of my own divine nature?”

I identify myself as a cult survivor and someone who also experienced a cult situation in a Buddhist context; and often I identify myself also as a survivor of sexual abuse in that context, as well…I’m comfortable with ‘survivor’ or ‘victim’, that’s how I orient myself in these opportunities to talk about my experience.”

When I’m genuinely victimized by racism in my daily life, I want to be able to name it, to name that it hurts me, to say that I’m victimized by it. But I don’t want to see that as all that I am.

‘Victim’ is not a dirty word. Harmed people get to choose the language of their harm…Minimizing harm by purposefully choosing language that blunts the reality of violence is neither restorative nor victim-centered.

I see myself as a survivor, and I’m not ashamed to say I’m a survivor. To me, ‘survivor’ implies strength, implies that I have been through something terrible and I made it out to the other side.”

Victim…should be destigmatized, because it is first of all a legal term. A victim is someone against whom a crime has been committed.

The stigma of victimhood is a timeworn tool of oppressive powers to gaslight the people they subjugate into believing that by naming their disempowerment they are being dramatic, whining, attention-grabbing, or beating a dead-horse. Believe me, I wish this horse were dead.

While a victim is seen as static, frozen in grief, forever imprisoned at the time of the incident, a survivor is expected to progress and move on …The survivor language highlights the importance of the personal healing journey and the steps an individual is taking to empower themselves independent of the violet systems that continue to harm them and others.

The lack of survivor-focused stories also silences essential voices and prevents the creation of truly healing interventions.”

Video: Survivor Testimony

(see also Open Letter to Plum Village centres: An appeal for better safeguarding measures)

That’s really important, that we’re not alone when we start to speak out.”

Storytellers are the meaning makers in a society, and therefore they have a weighty influence and the ability to move humanity forward.”

Written: Survivor Testimony

Audio: Survivor Testimony

(see also:  Video: Survivor Testimony,  “Healing From Abuse, The Voice of a Survivor, Ally and Activist.”)

Victims need an opportunity to tell their stories in their own way.”

As terrifying as things we see are, perhaps more terrifying are the things that, once seen, cannot be unseen…The point of the purposeful narrative, of the ethical story, is to draw all the courage, kindness, goodness, and hope from the world into the open, where everyone can share it.

We may not be able to control the fact that we are by default vulnerable in this society – in this world – but we can share our narrative on our terms and use it for connection and empowerment instead of hustling for our worth.”