I use the term survivor to describe what some might call a victim. ..For me, those who have been in psychologically abusive relationships are not merely victims. They are people who have learned to overcome an insidious form of abuse. They have come out on the other side of healing…”

Religious or spiritual abuse results in an identity crisis. Victim, survivor, muse, consort – who am I?…Who am I if not his devotee or her acolyte? Who am I if not a special member of a special group? Who am I if I have been abused by the very person with whom I needed to feel safe? Am I a victim? Am I a fool?…Most of all, who am I in relation to my god or the gods of my own divine nature?”

I identify myself as a cult survivor and someone who also experienced a cult situation in a Buddhist context; and often I identify myself also as a survivor of sexual abuse in that context, as well…I’m comfortable with ‘survivor’ or ‘victim’, that’s how I orient myself in these opportunities to talk about my experience.”

When I’m genuinely victimized by racism in my daily life, I want to be able to name it, to name that it hurts me, to say that I’m victimized by it. But I don’t want to see that as all that I am.

‘Victim’ is not a dirty word. Harmed people get to choose the language of their harm…Minimizing harm by purposefully choosing language that blunts the reality of violence is neither restorative nor victim-centered.

I see myself as a survivor, and I’m not ashamed to say I’m a survivor. To me, ‘survivor’ implies strength, implies that I have been through something terrible and I made it out to the other side.”

Victim…should be destigmatized, because it is first of all a legal term. A victim is someone against whom a crime has been committed.

The stigma of victimhood is a timeworn tool of oppressive powers to gaslight the people they subjugate into believing that by naming their disempowerment they are being dramatic, whining, attention-grabbing, or beating a dead-horse. Believe me, I wish this horse were dead.

While a victim is seen as static, frozen in grief, forever imprisoned at the time of the incident, a survivor is expected to progress and move on …The survivor language highlights the importance of the personal healing journey and the steps an individual is taking to empower themselves independent of the violet systems that continue to harm them and others.

To sum up, the bad apple argument does three things. 1. It uses the same individualistic logic that isolates and blames victims for the harm they suffer. 2. It diverts attention away from the analysis of patterns and structures of power and harm. 3. It furthers the potentially toxic glorification of the good apple.