[So many women] gave me incredible strength….And I thanked them for it…I [also] received thousands of letters from all over the world…and [these women] thanked me for talking about [my abuse] because now they were no longer afraid to do it as well. I got so many messages from women telling me, ‘thanks to you, I’m going to file a complaint.’ “

First of all, don’t lose your self-confidence. Listen to that voice that takes you in the right direction. I had doubts, everybody has doubts, I had doubts at times. But I would tell [other survivors]: don’t have shame, don’t be ashamed, don’t be afraid, confront your aggressor. We all have a force, we all have a strength inside that we can use to help us stride forward. Keep your eyes on the future, look ahead. Look ahead and stand tall in your dignity.”

It’s possible that Buddhist ethics and Buddhist authority structures could support transparency, accountability and the centering survivors…however both our ethnographic and our  textual research has shown us that this hasn’t been the norm historically or in the contemporary Buddhist world. Again and again, Buddhist organizations and the teachers that lead them move to protect themselves, their revenue streams and the reputation of their lineages at the expense of survivors.”

The complexities of naming [abuse, and one’s self related to it] have been compounded by a grouping together of a  range of offenses and offenders. How then can one language appropriately distinguish between various actors and various actions and various contexts while still acknowledging the shared cultures of secrecy, complicity and gendered hierarchies that have enabled them?”

I use the term survivor to describe what some might call a victim. ..For me, those who have been in psychologically abusive relationships are not merely victims. They are people who have learned to overcome an insidious form of abuse. They have come out on the other side of healing…”

Religious or spiritual abuse results in an identity crisis. Victim, survivor, muse, consort – who am I?…Who am I if not his devotee or her acolyte? Who am I if not a special member of a special group? Who am I if I have been abused by the very person with whom I needed to feel safe? Am I a victim? Am I a fool?…Most of all, who am I in relation to my god or the gods of my own divine nature?”

I identify myself as a cult survivor and someone who also experienced a cult situation in a Buddhist context; and often I identify myself also as a survivor of sexual abuse in that context, as well…I’m comfortable with ‘survivor’ or ‘victim’, that’s how I orient myself in these opportunities to talk about my experience.”

When I’m genuinely victimized by racism in my daily life, I want to be able to name it, to name that it hurts me, to say that I’m victimized by it. But I don’t want to see that as all that I am.”

‘Victim’ is not a dirty word. Harmed people get to choose the language of their harm…Minimizing harm by purposefully choosing language that blunts the reality of violence is neither restorative nor victim-centered.