When harm arises at the CENTER of the Dharma, what is “care”?

In a patriarchal system, no one wins. Though it would appear that a cisgender heterosexual white man has the upper hand…I work with many individuals who hold this identity who have been deeply wounded by religions patriarchal standards and who experience great pain and remorse for having inflicted and lived out those patriarchal standards in ways that have oppressed others.”

The following list identifies specific ways religion can be abusive: Coercion and threats; Intimidation; Emotional abuse; Isolation; Minimizing, Denying and blaming; Patriarchal privilege; Economic abuse.  These categories … are not exhaustive, but they give you an idea of the ways HCRs [high-control religions] gain power and control. “

Religious abuse is the improper use of religious beliefs, teachings, doctrines and relationships against another person.”

Abuse, including religious or spiritual abuse, is different from trauma…abuse is what happens to us, while trauma is our nervous system’s response to what happens to us.”

Another reason for reticence on the topic of sexuality in Vajrayāna Buddhism and sex abuse in particular is that the vast majority of relevant historical source materials remain untranslated from Sanskrit and Tibetan, making in-depth inquiry the time-consuming preserve of specialists. Many such specialists maintain commitments to particular Buddhist teachers, making it difficult to address issues that cast Buddhism in a negative light.”

Continued research is essential for understanding the factors that contribute to sexual misconduct in religious communities and for developing evidence-based interventions that include both preventive and disciplinary components.”

“I think we have to acknowledge anger. We have to honor our anger, but we don’t have to ground ourselves in anger as a momentum to create change.”

To practice self-love from an Asian American feminist Buddhist perspective is to honor our embodied experience as worthy of attention and deep care. An Asian American feminist Buddhist ethic of self-love embodies the practice of non-harming of self and other and is a refusal to participate in our own diminishment and continued invisibility.”

Harm that occurs within a religious system or as a result of religious belief often is referred to as religious abuse, sometimes also called spiritual abuse. Although religious abuse has received some conceptual interest and speculation in the literature, there is little empirical understanding of this phenomenon.”

Although ‘cult’ and ‘sect’ are used as technical terms by sociologists of religion, these terms have come to be used as pejorative labels in popular parlance, often telling us more about the attitude of the speaker than about the movement in question.

For this reason, Inform prefers not to label a particular group or movement as a ‘cult’, but instead, to use more neutral terms such as ‘minority religion’ or ‘movement’ as a starting point, and then to describe what it is that the movement believes and does.”

A commonly accepted assumption in patriarchal culture is that love can be present in a situation where one group of individual dominates another.”

No one can rightfully claim to be loving when behaving abusively.”

Care and affirmation, the opposite of abuse and humiliation, are the foundation of love.”

There can be no love without justice…The heart of justice is truth telling, seeing ourselves and the world the way it is rather than the way we want it to be.”

Where spiritual authority is coercive and it distorts consent….Coercion negates consent, this is a a legal principle under the U.S. Human Trafficking laws, when you are coerced you cannot be giving consent.”

There hasn’t been very much balanced scholarly treatment of this incredibly important issue [of sexual abuse in Buddhist communities]….But there have been waves of allegations of abuse inAmericanBuddhism since the early 1980s, maybe the ‘70s. It’s not a new issue by any means.”

Speaking of Buddhist studies and disciplinary formations, this is also a part of Buddhist Studies. Abuse is part of Buddhism, it’s not separate from Buddhism. It’s a topic in Buddhist studies that should be studied.”

I’ll give you information…about what happens that is often more powerful than the law, which is really saying something, which is the collective strength that survivors gain to reclaim their own agency, their own story as true and no longer secret.”

The silence is not just the absence of speech or voice, it’s the product of fear that is instilled in people; it is the product of a hierarchy that is unbending; it’s the product of tradition; and an unquestioned loyalty.”

Does that mean Buddhism is a cult? No, not necessarily; but cults are organizations that have charismatic, authoritarian leaders who cannot be disobeyed and who, in effect, are able to abuse their power. So, in all of these situations we’ve been talking about [in the keynote address of the conference], yes, some of [these Buddhist groups] could be called cults, or high-control, high-demand groups.”

[T]rust is defined as choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions. When you trust someone, what you make vulnerable can range from concrete rewards…to less tangible values, such as a belief you hold, a cherished way of doing things, your good name, or even your sense of happiness and well-being…[Y]ou do so because you believe you and they will accomplish something worthwhile together that you couldn’t alone and that their actions will support or, at the very least, will not harm what you have made vulnerable.”

Care is the assessment you make about the extent to which another person considers your interests and concerns. Another aspect of care is your trust that the other person’s intentions toward you are positive, that they want good for you.”

The only known antidote for betrayal of someone’s trust is to acknowledge it and apologize for it. To acknowledge betrayal means recognizing what you did was wrong or damaging in the other person’s eyes. Even if you didn’t intend to harm them in some way, you did, and they want to know you realize this and take it seriously.”

It’s possible that Buddhist ethics and Buddhist authority structures could support transparency, accountability and the centering survivors…however both our ethnographic and our  textual research has shown us that this hasn’t been the norm historically or in the contemporary Buddhist world. Again and again, Buddhist organizations and the teachers that lead them move to protect themselves, their revenue streams and the reputation of their lineages at the expense of survivors.”

The lack of survivor-focused stories also silences essential voices and prevents the creation of truly healing interventions.”